just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
