omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
