I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize