I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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