No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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