I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
