I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
