How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
