she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm passing your future prison.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
