We're facebook friends in real life
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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