"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
he's gonorrhea incarnate
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
