i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I currently don't understand fingers.
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