Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
