Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
