Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
