someone get that fucking seahorse.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize