I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
