Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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