Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
