I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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