Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
