the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
