Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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