Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
