and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
