She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I want to fling myself into the sun
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
