P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
