Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
