Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
