So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Dicks are not precious.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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