Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
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He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
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How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
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