I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
They took my balls.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
