If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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