So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
