TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
