He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You ate ashes out of my bong
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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