How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
