my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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