I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
