Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize