if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Farmville is her only friend.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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