After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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