What did we do last night that was yellow?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Everclear isn't food dammit
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
