Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
