I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
