Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Who put my cat in the fridge?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
