i don't plan on having that self control this summer
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
