What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
