Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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