I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
