She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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