smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Need sex. Gaining weight.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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