i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize