Porn is love you can see.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
