well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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