Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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