Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
