Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize