I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize