I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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