You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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